Now you've grown up

Hi Kak
Now you've grown up and become a lady
You're seventeen already

Soon you will leave our nest

And pursuit your dream at your best

I will always pray for you to be well

Wherever and whenever you are

Be strong and take courage

Do not fear for God is always near

Jakarta 26.03.2024

In the early morning before your SNBP announcement  

Pandemic Overtime

 

Pandemic Overtime

Kubuka kembali email malam ini
Sebelum pulang coba kubaca sekali lagi
Mungkin ada pesan baru yang didapat
Atau mungkin pesan lama yang terlewat
.

Sudah beberapa bulan rasanya
Tidur tak nyenyak gundah gulana
Baru bisa terlelap 
Setelah dini hari merayap
.

Bersyukur masih ada Sabtu Minggu
Bisa bangun agak siang tanpa ada yang mengganggu
Bisa bercanda ini itu dengan keluargaku
Menghujung malam nonton Netflix film-film baru
.

Semangat semangat semangat
Pandemi ini masih belum akan berangkat
Tapi hidup kita harus terus menggebu
Mencapai tujuan dari Sang Maha Tahu

.

Jakarta 08.03.2021

15th anniversary

25 September 2004
15 tahun lalu

di hadapan Tuhan dan GerejaNya
saya berjanji akan mencintaimu
dalam segala musim

dan saya sungguh menikmati
menjalani janji saya bersamamu
menua bersama
sampai tunai janji kita

kiranya Tuhan yang meneguhkan

jakarta
25.09.2019

Saya tidak sengaja dapat lagu ini 1-2 minggu lalu waktu browsing youtube. Ketika dengar pertama kali melodi dan liriknya nya terasa sangat kuat, heart-breaking tapi juga heart- healing secara bersamaan (seperti comment salah satu orang di youtube). 

Membawa saya flashback ke masa-masa beberapa bulan lalu waktu nemenin alm. Mama berjuang di RS maupun sesudahnya di rumah melawan cancer nya. Pujian ini kaya pas banget untuk gambarin apa yang kami berdua rasakan saat-saat itu. 

Saya saat itu ga bisa banyak bicara krn bingung juga jelasin apa yg dirasakan. Mama juga demikian, ga bisa banyak bicara krn nahan sakitnya. We both are strugling, my mom with her physical pain, while me with my faith & hope.

Tapi suatu ketika saat saya melihat matanya Mama, kami seperti saling menguatkan. Kami tahu bahwa kami akan bisa melalui ini, whatever the result.

Ketika akhirnya alm. Mama dipanggil Tuhan dan kami harus berpisah dulu, perasaan saya mungkin seperti yg saya bilang di atas, heart-broken but also heart-healed at the same time.

Yang jelas buat kami, seperti yang kami yakini, Tuhan lah yang akhirnya mampu membawa kami melalui semuanya. 

And this song somehow seems to be a perfect soundtrack to depicts those moments. :)

May this song be a blessing to you too.

Even When It Hurts (Praise Song)"

Take this fainted heart
Take these tainted hands
Wash me in Your love
Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost
I'll praise You
Even when I have no song
I'll praise You
Even when it's hard to find the words
Louder then I'll sing Your praise

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost
I'll praise You
Even when it hurts like hell
I'll praise You
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I'll sing Your praise

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

And my heart burns only for You
You are all You are all I want
And my soul waits only for You
And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for You
You are all You are all I want
And my soul waits only for You
And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise
I will only sing Your praise

Even when the morning comes
I'll praise You
Even when the fight is won
I'll praise You
Even when my time on earth is done
Louder then I'll sing your praise

I will only sing Your praise

Kasih Tuhan Mengiringimu

kasih Tuhan mengiringimu
dan sayapNya melindungimu
tangan Tuhan pegang di dalam hidupmu
majulah dalam trang kasihNya

PKJ 180
Jakarta, June 2013

Thank you, Lord .. for another opportunity
Thank you, Lord for still letting me play in the game
YOU are the best coach I've ever had!

Jakarta 12.06.2011
on my 32nd birthday

6 a.m
Selamat pagi, sayang
Lihatlah matahari yang bersembunyi di balik awan
Malu-malu ia melihat senyumanmu
Yang membuat awan tak lagi terasa kelabu

1 p.m
Selamat siang, sayang
Adakah kau lelah dan mengantuk?
Berbaringlah dahulu dan bermimpi di hari siang
Siapkan dirimu untuk pesta nanti malam

4 p.m
Selamat sore, sayang
Nikmatilah segarnya air yang mengalir
Kenakanlah gaunmu yang terbaik
Tak lama lagi tamu-tamu kecilmu pun kan datang

10 p.m
Selamat malam, sayang
Ingatlah untuk berdoa sebelum kantuk menyerang
Semoga senyummu terus mengembang
Saat mata mulai terpejam dan mimpi kembali datang

Selamat ulang tahun ke-4, gadis kecilku Chrissa
Jakarta 11.12.2010

Lord, thank You

for the wonderful one year You have given me

May be I am not a wiser man yet

But I saw You've helped me a lot through my foolishness;

May be I am not a better man yet

But I am sure, I have received nothing but the best from You;

If it is okay with You

Abide with me, o Lord, through the coming year

For only in You, I shall found my life

Cipinang 12.06.2010

Happy birthday to me :)

oh no .. i saw someone's paycheck slip

how come they pay him better?

while i am the one who is doing all the work

and the one who always stay late to clean the mess

oh no .. i saw someone's paycheck slip

and it start pissing me off

i want a revenge!!

nope .. nope ..not just wanting it, i need a revenge!!

is that the way i supposed to feel?

Cipinang 11.03.10

Thank You, Lord for my lovely daughter Chrissa
The more I spend my days wih her
The more I see Your blessings through her

Today Chrissa is three years old
Well .. I am not so sure how to express my gratitude
Maybe this joyous and thankful tears can be a start

Cipinang 11.12.200900:16
A thankful offering for Chrissa's 3rd birthday

Nak .. mari memuji Tuhan

Untuk segala kebaikan

Yang ia sudah berikan

Nak .. mari memuji Dia

Untuk setiap doa kita

Yang didengar dan dijawab-Nya

Nak .. bernyanyi dan menarilah

Karena inilah saatnya

Untuk merayakan penyertaan-Nya

Kamu bertambah besar

Dan bertambah pintar

Tubuhmu sehat

Dan hatimu kuat

Semua karena anugerah Tuhan, Nak

Ya karena anugerah-Nya

Jadi mari memuji Tuhan!

Jakarta 11.12.2008

Hadiah ulang tahun ke-2

untuk "Gadis Kecilnya Papa"

Kamulah alasan
Yang membuatku pulang dengan tersenyum

Kamulah alasan
Yang membuatku menahan kantuk di pembaringan

Kamulah alasan
Yang membuatku siap menghadapi berbagai keadaan

Kamu .. ya kamulah alasanku ..

Kemang 18.08.08

we were a child once

we were fragile and need help

but we were sincere in being who we are

we were weak physically

but strong in heart

maybe that is why The Lord told us

to welcome Him like a child does

Merry Christmas all ..

Cipinang 11.12.07

masih teringat jelas di kepala kami, nak

ketika dengan bergegas kami mempersiapkan diri untuk berangkat ke rumah sakit

dalam cemas dan gembira kami bertanya-tanya:

'Inikah harinya?'

masih teringat jelas di kepala kami, nak

bagaimana hujan deras hari itu membuat matahari malu untuk bersinar

tapi kemudian kami mulai merenung:

'Mungkin matahari tak percaya diri menghadapi kehadiran dirimu'

masih teringat jelas di kepala kami, nak

bagaimana di tengah-tengah tangisanmu hati kami menaikkan mazmur dan syukur

dan bagaimana bibir kami tak dapat berhenti mengucap:

'Terima kasih, Tuhan .. terima kasih, Tuhan ..'

bilamana kami ingat syukur kami di hari itu

lebih lagi kami beryukur di hari ini, nak

setahun sudah kami menjalani hidup kami bersamamu

'A living gift from heaven'

'Milik kepunyaan Tuhan yang dipercayakan kepada kami'

Happy 1st birthday, Christalita Nathania Reynaldo ..

May your life filled with God's glory

Cipinang 11.12.07 2:43 PM

Mari dengarlah cerita tentang putriku

Namanya Chrissa wajahnya lucu

Senyum dan gelak tawanya mampu menghilangkan letihku

Gumam dan celotehnya mampu meramaikan rumahku

Ia senang diajak bermain

Bercanda dan berbicara apa saja
Jika kamu punya waktu

Tataplah ke dalam matanya dan tersenyumlah

Maka ia takkan segan membalas senyummu

Di saat hari mulai terasa berat dan membosankan

Ada saja tingkahnya yang jadi kejutan dan penghiburan

Mulai dari mengangkat kepala ketika ditelungkupkan

Hingga mampu berguling sendiri tanpa bantuan

Bila melihat pipinya

Yang bulat dan menggemaskan itu

Tak tahan aku untuk menciuminya

Atau paling tidak memegang gemas pipinya

Mamanya adalah orang yang paling dia percaya

Ketika dia lapar dia akan mencari wajah mamanya

Pun ketika dia bingung, dia akan mencari wajah mamanya

Banyak orang bilang tabiat mereka serupa

(walaupun denganku juga banyak samanya ..)

Ada masanya dia begitu lahap meminum susunya

Tapi ada juga masa dia tak suka diberi minumannya

Jika saat itu tiba .. duuhhh susahnya ..

sampai harus dipaksa

Dan hanya mamanya yang cukup punya hati untuk melakukannya

Gadis kecilku Chrissa terima kasih

Engkau sungguh menjadi berkat tersendiri

(written when Chrissa was about 3 months old)

I wish you were here

When our baby had cold

And couldn't sleep well along the night

I wish you were here

When the dirty clothes mountained

And someone still had to look after the baby

I wish you were here

When crazy things happened at work

And traffic exhaust my energy out

I wish you were here

When I was lonely and low

And needed to cry my tears on your shoulder

TBS 04.08.07 4:24 PM

pic from picturequest

Get Here
(Written and originally performed by Brenda Russell)

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

There are hills and mountains between us
Always something to get over
If I had my way, surely you would be closer
I need you closer

You can windsurf into my life, take me up on a carpet ride
You can make it in a big balloon, but you better make it soon
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just get here if you can

ps : Oleta Adams then made this song popular in 1991 during the first Desert Storm war,
attributed to the soldiers that was sent to Kuwait and their families

Setiap helaan napas
Setiap degup jantung
Setiap derap langkah
Dan setiap tutur kata
Kupersembahkan
Tuk menyanyikan kasihMu selamanya

Fatmawati 13.07.06 8:34 AM

dear my wife,
it's been 3 years of our marriage today ..
3 wonderful years!

thank you for delivering chrissa,
taking care of my meals,
and many other wonderful things

but most of all ..
thank you for loving me

i love you
always!

Jakarta 25.09.07

liriknya bagus .. tp lagunya sendiri saya belum pernah denger
ada yang punya ? :)

In My Daughter's Eyes - Martina McBride

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I want to be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
Everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light
And the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
Gives me strength when I'm weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
Is had enough
It's givin' more when you feel like givin' up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes
I can see the future
A reflection of who I am
And what we'll be
And though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone
I hope you'll see
How happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes