There were times
when I think myself as a total looser
Lonely and fail
Ackward and clumsy
Times like this one

15.07.05 8:10 AM


I know ..

There were times
When you think yourself as a total looser
Lonely and fail
Ackward and clumsy

Times like those ones
when you forget that I was with you
And that I have choose you to be My precious

29.07.05 9:45 AM

Let me get you a mirror
So you'll know that it was not only my thought
When I said that 'You are beautiful'
And that 'You are worth to fight for'

Yes! You are beautiful and lovely
in every way you are

Some emails can just brighten your day, let me get you an example ..

----- Original Message -----
From: Indri Lestari
To: Yohanes Saut R
Sent: Thursday, July 14, 2005 8:50 AM
Subject: Hi my husband

Dear Hon,

How are U today. I think U're still the most handsome baby in the wold.

Keep Happy ya...

Love U,
Indri

[Puisi bulanan seorang demonstran - Juli 2005]

Tiga tulang rusuk retak
dan legam di kedua mataku
Tak akan menghentikan mulutku
Untuk meneriakkan kenyataan dan kebenaran ..

Bahwa rakyat susah dapat makan
Dan ribuan orang rajin jadi pengangguran
Bahwa wakil rakyat tidak menggunakan nurani
Dan pemimpin-pemimpin tak lagi peduli

Aku tidak akan berhenti !

Ternyata di antara temen2ku ada juga loh yang seneng lagu ini .. ^^
(it's always nice to find someone who has same interests isn't it ?)

I can only give ya love that lasts forever
And the promise to be near each time you call
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all … that's all.

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall
And a love who’s burnin’ light
Will warm the winter night.
That's all … that's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you
They would give you the world for a toy
All I have are these arms to enfold you
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wonderin’ what I'm askin’ in return, dear
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small
Say it's me that you'll adore
For now and evermore
That's all … that's all.

ps : dear my wife, it'll always be our song :)

Ketika aku tak sibuk lagi ..
Aku ingin mengajakmu mengunjungi kota tua kita
Berciuman di pojok-pojoknya
Berpelukan menyusuri lorong-lorongnya
Menari di jalan-jalannya

Ketika aku tak sibuk lagi ..
Aku ingin mengajakmu bicara tentang cita-cita kita
Mendoakannya bersama
Merencanakan setiap rincinya
Dan mulai melangkah mencapainya

Ketika aku tak sibuk lagi ..
Aku ingin mengajakmu kembali ke masa kecilmu yang membahagiakan
Mengunjungi lagi tempat-tempat yang memberi kenangan
Menemui orang-orang yang pernah menggoreskan kesan
Melakukan hal-hal yang orang dewasa tak pernah pikirkan

Ketika aku tak sibuk lagi ..
Mungkin kita bisa kembali menikmati kopi di kedai itu
Sambil menatap malu-malu
Dan saling berbisik 'Aku cinta kamu ..'

Ketika aku tak sibuk lagi ..
Aku ingin menjemputmu setiap hari,
menemanimu di sepanjang sore yang berlari,
lalu memelukmu ketika kantuk menyapa diri

Will it be tomorrow ?

Fatmawati, 8 Jun '05 10:33 pm

[a birthday psalm for pap ..]

Happy is the worshipper of the Lord, who is walking in His ways
You will have the fruit of the work of your hands:
happy will you be, and all will be well for you
Your wife will be like a fertile vine in the inmost parts of your house:
your children will be like olive plants round your table

See! this is the blessing of the worshipper of the Lord ..

May the Lord send you blessing out of Zion:
may you see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life
May you see your children’s children
Peace be on Israel

Psalm 128 : 1-6

Have a very .. very .. happy birthday ya, pap
and a very .. very .. happy journey with mam ahead
love, saut

Dear my wife ..

I'll go home soon
I will even catch the light
And ride on it if I had to
I'll go home soon

A busy day .. a busy day ..
It comes to you like a long .. long train
Make your mind keep thinking
Make your heart keep beating
Make yourself keep breathing
Just remember one thing ..
Don't forget on Him ..
The One who created all day
Including this one busy day ..

ps :
Give Him your best .. everyday ..

Cepat sembuh ..
Supaya segera kamu bisa bermain di taman kembali
Menciumi harumnya bunga
Mengejar jejak terbangnya kupu-kupu
Mengamati lompatan si belalang hijau
Menikmati sisa-sisa embun di pucuk ilalang

Cepat sembuh ..
Supaya bisa kuajak kamu menikmati es krim kesukaanmu
Dan tenggelam di barisan rak-rak toko buku langgananmu

Cepat sembuh ..
Supaya kembali kudengarkan hentakan tuts keyboard di komputermu

Cepat sembuh ..
karena aku membutuhkanmu

Jakarta, 13 May 2005
untuk orang-orang yg kukasihi yang kemarin sempat terganggu kesehatannya ..
untuk bangsa ini yang sedang berjuang untuk 'sembuh' ..
(in memoriam tragedi 7 tahun lalu .. semoga kita semua cepat 'sembuh' ..)

Ande - Ande Lumut ..
Toyota Hardtop hijau ..
Upacara kelulusan seorang siswa SMP di tahun '94 ..
Pantai Pangandaran ..
Pisang molen Kartika Sari ..
Stola ungu ..

semuanya memiliki satu kesamaan yang indah ..
semuanya mengingatkanku padamu, Papa


Jakarta, 13 May 2005
You are a good father indeed, Pa .. :) I love u

Dear my wife, u really know how to make me show that happy smile :)

(written after I received an email @ my inbox from her .. here's what she said ..)

Dear Hon,

I've already received u'r email. Thanks for your support and unbelievable love.

Love U,
Indri

Ada satu hati ..

Yang sejak dahulu dapat kupercaya
untuk menyimpan beribu rahasia dan berjuta cerita

Yang senantiasa mengucapkan doa
dan menyatakan cinta setia

Yang selalu berusaha untuk berdiri
di jalan yang seharusnya

Yang tak ragu untuk meneteskan air mata
bagi kebahagiaan anak-anaknya

Satu hati ..

Hatinya mama ..

(ma .. u r my role figure .. thank you for investing so much in me .. may God bless u always)


updated on 9:31 pm
when people at my office start heading home one by one .. don't know why .. this gratitude feeling of having such a wonderful mom become stronger and stronger .. I'll call her when I get home tonight :)

I found it so hard to concentrate on everything that I do today.
I got this feeling since the morning start.
The image of many works to do today stucked my mind.
Need something tranquilizing for the rest of the day ..

Pingin cepet pulaaang .. (tp kaya'nya ndak bisa deh) .. hiks !

Betapa ajaib dan dahsyatnya, Tuhan ... kejadianku ..
Kau menenun diriku serupa gambaranMu
Sungguh berharga di mataMu Tuhan ... kehidupanku
Kau membawa hatiku mendekat
Erat dengan hatiMu

Kumengangkat wajahku
Memandang keindahanMu Yesus
Syukur bagi kesetiaanMu di sepanjang hidupku
Dan kuangkat tanganku
Ke tahta kasih dan karuniaMu
Tak sekalipun kau tinggalkanku ..
Yesus .. sahabatku ..

(birthday lullaby for Indri..)
happy bday ya, de

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

(do I dare to dream ?)

.. taken from the Wizard of Oz ost ..

Hatiku melompat-lompat ..
Senang ..
Girang ..

Aahhhh .. what an afternoon

Have you ever heard .. that gettin' a pinch at your cheeks can heal your sorrow ?
Well, I empirically had it today *^^*

Sometimes you got to let your heart's desire go ..
Especially when it takes you to a wrong path of life

Dear my wife,

Hanya satu orang
yang bisa membuat hatiku berdegup cepat ..

Kamu :)

love,
saut